How to Change the Way You See Yourself
A real conversation about negative self-talk, overthinking, self-image, and learning how to create a kinder relationship with yourself in both your mind and body.
I think a lot of people are harder on themselves than they even realize.
Not in some huge dramatic obvious way all the time either. Most of the time it happens in really small moments throughout the day.
You catch your reflection in the mirror and immediately focus on the one thing you wish looked different.
You walk away from a conversation and start replaying everything you said.
You scroll on your phone for five minutes and suddenly feel like everybody else is prettier, happier, more successful, more confident, more together than you are.
Those moments happen so quickly that we barely even notice them sometimes.
But over time, those little thoughts start shaping the way we feel about ourselves in a really deep way.
I know they did for me.
There have been so many moments in my life where I didn’t even realize how negatively I was speaking to myself because the thoughts had become so automatic. They felt normal. Familiar. Almost factual.
And honestly, I think that’s what makes self-talk so powerful.
The more often we think something, the more true it starts to feel, even when it isn’t actually true at all.
That realization changed a lot for me because I started understanding that many of the thoughts I had about myself were not permanent truths about who I was. They were patterns. Repeated thoughts. Familiar mental habits my brain had practiced over and over again.
And once I started seeing it that way, something opened up for me emotionally.
Because patterns can change.
That’s really what this whole episode was about.
Learning how to notice those automatic thoughts without immediately believing every single one of them.
I think many people assume confidence comes from suddenly loving everything about yourself perfectly. That’s never really been my experience. For me, healing started much smaller than that.
It started with awareness.
Simply noticing the way I talked to myself.
Noticing how quickly my mind would criticize me.
Noticing how often I focused on flaws instead of seeing myself as a whole person.
Noticing how much my mood could shift from one single thought about myself.
Because thoughts affect your body too.
You can actually feel it happen sometimes. A negative thought shows up and suddenly your shoulders tense, your posture changes, your chest feels heavy, your whole energy shifts.
That connection between the mind and body is so real.
And honestly, I think many of us have spent years living inside those thought loops without realizing there’s another option.
One thing that’s helped me so much personally is creating a little bit of space between the thought and my reaction to it.
That’s why I loved the NPR practice from this episode so much:
Notice.
Pause.
Replace.
Simple.
Realistic.
Actually doable.
Because the goal is not to force yourself into fake positivity every time you have a negative thought. That approach never felt natural to me either.
The goal is simply to interrupt the automatic pattern long enough to choose something slightly more supportive.
That small shift matters more than people realize.
For example, maybe your brain starts replaying a conversation and immediately goes to:
“That sounded awkward.”
“Why did I say that?”
“They probably think I’m weird.”
I’ve had those thoughts too.
Now instead of immediately spiraling into them, I try to notice what’s happening first.
“Oh, I’m overthinking this right now.”
That tiny moment of awareness creates space.
Then I pause.
Take a breath.
Slow the reaction down a little.
And from there, I try replacing the thought with something more supportive and realistic:
“That was a normal human conversation.”
“I don’t need to analyze every little thing I say.”
“It’s okay to be imperfect.”
Those thoughts feel completely different in my body.
And honestly, I think many people underestimate how much their inner voice shapes their entire experience of life.
The way you speak to yourself affects:
Your confidence.
Your energy.
Your relationships.
Your nervous system.
The way you walk into a room.
The way you show up in conversations.
The way you treat yourself when nobody else is around.
That voice matters.
And I think many of us learned harsh inner dialogue so early that we stopped questioning it completely.
We just accepted:
“This is how I am.”
“This is how my brain works.”
Meanwhile, your brain has simply practiced those pathways repeatedly over time.
That means new pathways can be practiced too.
That’s the hopeful part.
You do not need to completely become a different person overnight.
You do not need perfect confidence.
You do not need to suddenly love every part of yourself all at once.
You can start much smaller than that.
You can start by noticing your thoughts more gently.
You can start by pausing before immediately believing every criticism your brain offers you.
You can start by speaking to yourself with slightly more understanding than you did yesterday.
That’s already growth.
And honestly, I think one of the most healing things a person can experience is realizing they no longer want to be at war with themselves all the time.
Life already feels heavy enough sometimes.
Your inner voice does not need to become another place where you feel constantly attacked.
You deserve support from yourself too.
And maybe that’s your reminder today.
The way you currently see yourself is not fixed forever.
Your thoughts are not permanent truths.
Your patterns are allowed to evolve.
And every time you notice a thought, pause for a moment, and choose something slightly kinder or more supportive, you are slowly building a new relationship with yourself.
And honestly, those small moments matter more than they seem.
Because over time, the way you speak to yourself becomes the way you experience yourself.
So maybe this is the beginning of speaking to yourself a little more gently, seeing yourself a little more clearly, and finally feeling like your own safe place to land.
If this resonated with you, take it with you on your next walk.
Press play, step outside, and give yourself a few minutes to reset and reconnect.
🎧 Listen to the full episode here: